The Twelve Days of Christmas: Inuyasha style
by Glenn and Katina Rentholen
Summary: My brother in law, his friend and myself all thought that we should make the Inuyasha characters live through the twelve days of christmas. Stage set and granted. Poor Inuyasha.


Obviously the twelve days of christmas belong to the person who wrote it and it AINT me!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Inuyahsa sighs as he tugs at his santa clause suit, " Kagome.." he looked pretty bitter, " Do I really have to wear this?" He takles a deep breath, " You know that Kat and BRett and Brittany are only doing this to torment me."  
  
Kagome glares from where she's standing, " Look." she narrows her eyes.  
  
" You can't make me."  
  
" sit boy."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"On the first day of christmas, My true love gave to me.."  
  
Inuyasha comes out in his suit with a VERY large pack on his back, and sighs, looking as htough he's been put through a brick wall. (actually, it was the floor.)   
  
Brittany repeats the line, " ON the FIRST day of CHRISTMAS... my true love gave to ME--"  
  
"A little fox demon in a pear tree." Inuyasha sighs and pulls Shippo out of his pack, and sets him up -roughly- in a potted pear tree.  
  
Brett grins, " on the second day of christmas, my true love gave to me.."  
  
" I'm not gay."  
  
Brett glares, " Kagome.."  
  
" sit boy."  
  
  
  
  
  
After Inuyasha recovers, they try again.  
  
Brett: " on the SECOND day of CHRISTMAS, my true love gave to me--"  
  
Inuyasha grumbles, " Two shards of jewels.."  
  
SHippo comes in sounding a little grumpy. After all, there's a branch in a place it should not be, " And a little fox demon in a pear tree."  
  
Inuyasha looks a little satisfied.  
  
Kat grins, " On the third day of christmas, my true love gave to me."  
  
Inuyasha sighs, and pulls out of his bag Myoga, Kiade, and Kikyos spirit, " Three french Hens."  
  
"Two shards of Jewels" Calls Brett.  
  
" And a little (uncomfortable) fox demon jammed on a pear tree." Shippo says bitterly, hoping someone will get the hint.  
  
Looking as though he's glad that this bag is getting a little bit lighter, Inuyasha pulls out four dead demon carcasses, and lets his brother call, from behind the curtains, " four dead demon carcasses."  
  
"Three french hens." Calls Myoga, sucking blood from the old woman.  
  
"Two shards of JEwels." Calls Brittany.  
  
"and a VERY uncomfortable fox crammed on a pear tree!" Shouts shippo, realising that this is going to leave splinters.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
" on the fifth day of christmas, my true love gave to me." Calls Brittany.  
  
" You know, this pack is heavy." Inuyasha complains.  
  
" It's about to get even heavier." Says Kagome evily.  
  
" you can't make this bag any heavier!" shouts Inuyasha angrily.  
  
" Sit boy!"  
  
Croaking from under the bag of stuff, There is a long string of swear words that are muffled by the weitht of the bag. Obviouly, he was incorrect.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
" on the fifth day of christmas, my true love gave to me!" shouts Brittany.  
  
Inuyasha sighs, and reaches into his bag, and blinks. " Hey.. the rings aren't here guys."   
  
About that time, Kagome's grampa comes in leading five very attractive women onto the stage, " that's right ladies, right this way and those rings are yours.. Alright.. all at once now."  
  
" FIVE GOLDEN RINGS!"  
  
  
  
Kat sighs. " God save me."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
" on the sixth day of christmas, my true love gave to me." Says Brett.  
  
Inuyasha sighs, " at least I didn't have to carry this one." he says semi-happily.  
  
One by one, in walk in six pregnant women, followed by one very sheepish looking Miroku. " I didn't do it, I swear." he says.  
  
" Just say the line!" hisses Kagome.  
  
"Six gees a'laying." Miroku looks like he just wants to crawl under a rock and die.  
  
(in the backround, Kat and Brittanly laugh evily.)  
  
"five golden rings!" shout the women with rings on their fingers.  
  
"Four dead demon carcasses..." calls Shesshomaru.  
  
"Three french hens." calls the old woman, squashing Myuga.  
  
"Two shards of jewel." calls Kagome.  
  
"And one very angry uncomfortable mean little fox demon SMASHED on a pear tree!" shouts Shippo.  
  
  
  
  
  
Kagome takes a deep breath, " Do I really have to wear this ridiculus outfit?" She sucks in her tummy a little bit more, and looks at Shesshomaru, who is working on his hair, " at least you don't have my part." he says sourly.  
  
"At least you don't have to PRANCE." Sango says, polishing her Boomerang.  
  
" oh! My part is coming up now!" Sota calls, compleatly unaware of the fact that he's wearing a tutu. Or else he's enjoying it entirely too much.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
" on the seventh day of christmas, my true love gave to me." Calls Kat.  
  
Inuyasha leans over a bit to reach into his back, and pulls out, one by one, six demon geese that flapp and squak around on the stage. Sota walks out, prancing aroiund the stage, and making believe that he's swimming.  
  
'I definitly got the better end of this bargain.' thinks Inuyasha.   
  
" seven swans a swimming!" calls Sota.  
  
" Six geeze a'laying." Miroku blushes deeply, " And I swear to god, I didn't do it.. Kat stop laughing!"  
  
" FIVE GOLDEN RINGS!" shout the very ditsy women belonging to Grampa.  
  
"Three french Hens," Calls out Kikyo, as she floats around on stage, " Has any one thought about why we're the hens?"  
  
"Two shards of jewel." says Inuyasha in a fairly unamused tone.  
  
" and one very cranky little bastard fox demon STUFFED on a pear tree. HELLO. THIS BRACH IS IMPAILING ME." Shoippo complains.  
  
Inuyasha glares, " shut up. At least you dont have a dozen people in your bag on your back."  
  
" The branch is sticking me right in the-"  
  
" GUYS!"  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
" you know, Kagome, you brother doesnt look too bad in a Tutu." says Shesshomaru, as he makes sure that his lint roller is working on his costume, " He looks just like a cute little girl."  
  
" I wish sit boy worked on you.." Kagome mutters.  
  
" What?"  
  
" I said that pink looks good on you."  
  
  
  
" It's not pink, it's Mauve."  
  
  
  
  
  
" on the eight day of christmas, my true--love.. what are you guys doing?" Brittany stares as the eight maids force the supposed to be cow up on the stage.  
  
" He wont do it!" complains Kagome, " I mean, come on.. for all the useless cows!"  
  
" I'm a BABOON! You can't MILK a Baboon!" Naraku complains.  
  
" You are a cow for now.. get out here! you're ruining the play."  
  
" Take it like a man." Smirks Inuyasha.  
  
" like you should be talking Santa."  
  
Inuyasha drops his bag, making the people still in it grunt in pain, " You want to take that back cow-boy?!"  
  
" BABOON!!!!"  
  
Kagome whacks Naraku with her bike, " JUst cooperate will you!? Geeze.." she huffs.  
  
" Again guys?" Kat calls.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Brittany sighs, " on the eigth day of christmas my true love gave to me--"  
  
" Eight maids a milking." Calls Kagome.  
  
"Actually, that's not too bad.. can you move a little to the right?" Naraku asks politly.  
  
  
  
"Seven swans a swimming!" Sings out Sota.  
  
"Six geese alaying." Miroku is trying to drive away one of the women that grampa brought on stage, " I SAID THEY WERENT MINE!"  
  
"FIVE GOLDEN RINGS!" call out the other four women. Grampa has a bloody nose (very anime style.)  
  
  
  
"Four dead demon carcasses.." Calls out Shesshomaru.  
  
"Three french hens." Says the old woman trying to make her sister stop bugging Inuyasha for akiss under the mistletoe.  
  
"Two shards of Jewel!" Call Brett.  
  
" and a very grumpy, very mean, very seriously uncomfortable little fox demon in a pear tree!" calls Shippo.  
  
  
  
  
  
Kat sighs, " How many more days have we got left? We're losing readers here!"   
  
" Um.. lesse.." Brett counts on his fingers, " like.. four.."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"okay, let's speed it up a little bit guys."  
  
" Can we get me off here!? I'm not ever going to be able to go number 2 again at this rate!" Shippo whines.  
  
Kirara comes out, walking very slowly. Behind it is marching eight other little things jsut like it. There are ten drums on stage, and they all begin to play.  
  
" Nine drummers drumming.. or in this case, little SUPER CUTE cat things!" Kat sniffles because she can't have one.  
  
"Eight maids a milking one very ahppy baboon." Calls Naraku, almost purring from all the attenion from the women around him. " why was I complaining again?"  
  
"Seven swans a swimmin'." Sings out Sota.  
  
"Six geese a'laying.." Miroku blushes at the six boxes of condoms, gifts from his six lady friends.  
  
"FIVE GOLDEN RINGS!" cry out the women who are now swooning over poor inuyasha who is tyring to keep the next people still in his bag, " This is ludicris.." he mutters.  
  
" Four dead demon carcasses." Shesshomaru calls.  
  
" Yay!" Calls Brittany, now head of the " we love Sesshi" club.  
  
"Three french hens." Calls Myoga.  
  
"Two jewel shards." Calls out Inuyasha, trying to get the women away from him.  
  
"and one very jammed fox demon on a pear tree. Guys. I cant feel by rear." Shippo whines.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
" on the tenth day of christmas, my true love gave to me." calls out Kat.  
  
"Ten soul pippers piping!" Shouts the old woman as the soul pipers come out playing.  
  
Brittany in the meantime is obsessing over Shesshomaru in the dressingroom. " You look so good in that outfit!" she smiles sweetly, and bats her eyes at him. 'He'd better not ignore me. If he thinks that sit boy wont work, he doesnt know about authors right of change.'  
  
Sango sighs. " I'm up."   
  
" I'm rather enjoying this." laughs Sayo, who is playing with her danging outfit.  
  
Sango sighs. " I hate my life."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
" on the eleventh day of christmas, my true love gave to me--" Brett recites.  
  
For some reason, all the men on stage pay very close attention to the eleven maids that come out of Inuyashas bag in their short skirts and cute tops.   
  
Inuyasha pretends not to notice as he recites his own lines, " Eleven girls dancing."  
  
" Ladies!" hisses Kat.  
  
" their girls to me." Inuyasha says argumentivly, " I don't see any ladies on this stage anywhere."  
  
" sit boy!"  
  
'She's not a woman, she's a demon!' he thinks bitterly.  
  
Out from the bag though come Sango and Sayo, along with several other pretty girls, prancing around as though they are having the time of their lives.   
  
" not a lady huh? I'll teach him.. Just wait untill this play is over." mutters Sango.  
  
"Ten soul pipers piping!"  
  
"Nine drummers drumming!"  
  
" Eight maids a milking!"  
  
"Seven swans a swimming!"  
  
"Six geese a laying!"  
  
"FIVE GOLDEN RINGS!"  
  
"Four dead demon carcasses."  
  
"Three french hens."  
  
"Two jewel shards."  
  
" and Shippo impailed on a pear tree."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Brittanly gets all starry eyed as Shesshomaru's part comes up. "You know, those tights look really good on you."  
  
Shesshomaru smiles a bit, " I always look good my dear."  
  
" I know." Brittanly glomps him.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
" on the twelf day of christmas, my true love gave to me--" Calls Brittany dreamily.  
  
Twelve men, Shesshomaru, Hachi, Hojo, Nobonaga, Grampa, Jaken, Onigumo, Both thunder brothers, Oshou, Inuyasha (still in his santa costume) and Seikai come out in tights from Inuyashas bag Inuyasha dopps his empty bag to jion the others, even though he could certainly live without this humiliation.  
  
They all leap around the stage, all but Inuyasha in tights and a ballet shirt.  
  
" Shesshomaru aleaping.." calls Brittany.  
  
Kat and BRett sigh, " TWELVE LORDSA LEAPIN!"  
  
"Eleven ladies dancing."  
  
"Ten soul pipers piping."  
  
"Nine drummers drumming."  
  
"Eight maids a milking."  
  
"Seven swans a swimming."  
  
" Six geese alaying."  
  
"FIVE GOLDEN RINGS!"  
  
"Four dead demon carcasses."  
  
"Three french hens."  
  
"Two jewel shards."  
  
" I QUIT!" shouts Shippo.  
  
" And a little fox demon whos pelt will be decorating our pear tree if he doesnt get his fox butt back up there."   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
End. 


End file.
